there now that’s better


I just wanted some flowers to be inside so I picked all the things, even the things that aren’t supposed to come in.

A few big fat bumblebees are hovering around my hollyhocks.  The bees are so covered in pollen that they look like sloppy toddlers who’ve just eaten too many powdered donuts.

I walked with my friend today.  Walking in East Tennessee in June is exactly the same as sitting in a sauna.  It’s no wonder so many people don’t exercise here, because it doesn’t really feel like safe exercise. There’s no wicking.  One’s internal temperature just builds; the sweat streams down in rivulets.  It’s almost as if…as if… one is melting, instead of moving.

There are turtles everywhere here now.

Box turtles–I pass them all along the way.  When we walk at night our dogs give them a quick sniff and a happy little tail wag.

Snapping turtles–Last week I had to stop as a car was in the middle of the road, it’s driver walking around in front of the car trying to corral a snapping turtle.  The turtle did not like the man.  The man nearly got snapped.  I think he might’ve been interested in killing the turtle and taking it home to eat (people do that here; people eat everything here), but he got bashful when he saw me and let it go.  I felt like saying, “I don’t care! You can eat that turtle!”

When I was little I’d catch little painted turtles at a pond near here.  They were the size of half dollars.  So, so, so cute.  I would sit in the shade with my Dalmatian, who had social anxiety just like me, and I’d sort of line my turtles up in order of ascending size.  The two biggest were, of course, the mom and dad, then there’d be some teenagers and little kids and always a baby.  I’d kiss the baby.  My mom would’ve probably not been super happy about me kissing turtles.  I also had an animal graveyard for animal corpses I would find.  I did little funerals for them.  Sometimes I’d cry.  But I don’t think I was absolutely, legitimately sad; I’d just sort of make myself cry because I liked the idea of being sad.  Also I shared suckers with my Dalmatian.  I’d take a few licks, then let her, and so on until it was done.

Good times.  Good, good times.


About i said tennessee

Me, just me, in Tennessee

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